Please excuse my french prt 2

Sincèrement j'en suis arriver a un bout de ma vie ,

 ou je me poses les milles et une question existentialistes possibles. 

Tout ma vie est remise en question a ce point ci. En commençant par les

 amitiés de longue dates 

, je prends conscience que la personne que était il y a un ans est bien différente 

de celle que je suis maintenant , aujourd'hui , a cet instant précis .

 Je réalises que mes convictions , valeurs , moeurs , croyances sont plus imposantes

 et je ne les partage plus avec les personnes que j'ai connu presque toute ma vie . 

Il me semble que c'est a ce point ci que nos chemins devraient prendre leur 

propre route et suivre leur voie . Je ne me sens plus a ma place avec des personnes 

que j'aurai pu passer des journées entière , les conversations deviennent plus 

courtes , les rires rares . Je me dis que c'est maintenant que je devrai prendre 

ma vie en main et prendre du temps moi même pour me retrouver et comprendre 

ou j'irais ensuite . Ce sera surement une des choses les plus difficile que

 j'aurai a faire dans ma vie mais je trouve cela nécessaire 

pour que je sois en mesure d'avancer

N.S

Please excuse my freench

je m'en caline sincerement ce que quelqu'un projette ,

 Je m'en contrefiche que t'ai plein d'argent ou que tu n'est pas meme

 un cents noir dans tes bagages. . Tout ce qui compte c'est quel sorte 

de personne que tu es , quel es ta personnalité , semble tu

 quelqu'un de gentil ou au contraire pas très acceuillant, 

la façon dont tu fait tes cheveux , juste ton être pure 

en général serait apprécier. Je ne cherche jamais en 

général quelqu'un a l'apparence parfaite mais au contraire je

 cherche les défaut qui ne les rendent pas comme les autres ,

 leur qualité enfouie , bafouer meme . Je cherche a

 voir au de la de tout sa , j'essaie d'accepter tout le monde

 comme  il sont réellement sans tout le superflu de ce monde.

 Je cherche l'authenticité au milieu de portait repeint milles et une fois. 

N.S

i need it all and more

I just need someone that I can call at 5am in the morning , and talk to him until I fell asleep
I need someone who'll tell me they love me at the most unusual moments
I need someone who learn to appreciate my taste in music
I need someone to make me learn how to cook
I need someone to share my dreams and fears with
I need someone new to write about , sort of like a muse
I need someone that when my mind wanders , is the first one on my mind
I need someone to call my own
I need someone that buys me at bottle of wisky , and we drink all night and tell each others stories that we never told
I need someone who's ready for an adventure , anywhere at anytime
I need the rollcoaster kind of love , we may fight and fuss but at the end we'll know that we got each other
I need someone that when I'm at my worst , will pick me up and take care of me
I need someone that can make me smile everyday
I need someone that will stay , no matter how hard it is to be with me
I need someone who'll be by my side , when no one else is around
I need someone who makes me feel beautiful in every way
I need someone who gives me hope, to go on
I need something to look forward too

I need love


N.S

I swear i'll make you fall in love with me

whenever you hear my name , just know ...

It's sad but i've come  to this point where I have nothing left to say to you anymore
I can't give you all of me , like I used too
I remember the times , when all I was waiting was to talk to you
I could feel the butterflies in my stomach whenever I thought of you
For you , I would have done anything , if only you took me seriously
For you , I was ready to leave it all behind and start over
For you ,  just for you
But you didn't take the time to appreciate me , when I was at my best
But when I got to my worst , all you did was wished I could be there for you
But I can't anymore , you sucked the energy out of me
Without even knowing, you took a part of me that I can't never have back
And I know your probably confused , as how we got like this
But if only you took the time , to understand
You could see clearly , that I was hurt , not only by you
But by everything surrounding me
My silence was a warning
I used to look up to you
But now I'm looking past you
Whenever I heard your name , giggle came out of me
But now another man , is putting a smile on my face
And I know you probably wished it could be like it used too
But it won't not anymore , cause I've changed for the better and for the worse
I can't let you be a part of me anymore
Even know , now and then I think of you
You can no longer be mine and I can no longer be yours
There can never be a us again , not now , not ever
Just know that in the moment , I cared deeply for you to almost loving you
But you didn't take the time
And now it's lost

N.S

numb

And for no reason at all , you're sitting in the bus and you feel that your world is crumbling down
Slowly, pieces by pieces
Friendships are reavaluated , your past is flashing before your eyes
All at once, you feel this emptiness inside your body literally
You feel that pain is taking over your heart
You want to do something about it , anything
But you just feel useless, hopeless, heartlesss
You just want to cry until it gets better
But you can't , you're numb

N.S

Thoughts

Just a few words and a long bus ride made me realize
How vulnerable human kind is
How vulnerable I really am
We all got issues and we deal with them differently
We're all trying to be saved
I'm the first to deny that I need somebody to be there along the way
But I'm the one that need it the most
Just for once I want to be lost In love
I want someone to see my flaws
I want someone to love them and if it's not too much to ask
I need someone that won't ever go away

N.S

people

I'm tired of seeing faces
I'm tired of dealing with people
People aren't happy, and it shows
People are not true to themselves and others
People are liars, cheaters , backstabbers
People aren't nice anymore
I'm losing hope in them , in me
I'm so lost
People aren't the same
People don't love as they used to
People don't sing no more
People change
I changed
People aren't suppose to be with people
It is very rare , when they are , but it happens
Just not to me
I don't belong with people
It's that simple


N.S

a long and lonely road

I'm at this point of my life , where I don't care about the same things that I used too
I'm so fed up with this world, with people in general
I don't see things , as I used too
I don't have the amount of energy to deal with life anymore
I feel so hopeless , I'm at the end of the road
And the most confusing part is how did I get here
Where did it begin
It feels like i have the whole weight of the world on my shoulder
And all I can do is to keep walking
Walking where , I don't know
I'm just walking
I used to walk with people along my side
But now I'm finding myself walking alone
It's just me and my shadow
But it's getting darker , and darker
and my shadow is fading
I'm fading...

N.S

you

It's like I want you to love me , all of me
But at the same time , i don't want to give you too much
I don't want you to see , how dark my inside is
But then again I want you to see all my flaws and appreciate them
I want you to be there for me
I want you to care for me
I want you to miss me
I want you to feel me
I want you to love me
Is that too much to ask

N.S

A promise from me to you

I guess that i'm not of them
I'll never be them
It's hard you know , when you can't find a place to call your own
It's even harder when you can't find someone to call your own
It's getting more and more difficult
I'm getting tired
I'm being emotional
Too sensitive
I'm letting this world get the best of me
I can't fight it anymore ,
But one thing I'm sure of
I'll never be like the rest of them
I promise

N.S