Waking up

If you we're too ask me 5 years from now looking back , what I would want to be when I grow up
I probably would have said being successful in any way possible .
But i've come to realize that this isn't the most important thing in life
My goal in life is just to be a good person
I want to live a life that I'm proud of
I just want to be good , do good and think good thoughts
I want to be the best I can be in my everyday life
I want to achieve things, make things happen
I want to be a role model among my friends, I want somebody to look at my life and be inspired
To be the change, to dare to be different and not be afraid
I want to be quoted some day
Maybe it's a phase or it might be the real deal

I'm afraid I can't believe ....

I want to believe that there are people out there with a mind of their own
I want to believe that there are greater things out there
I want to believe that there are people who believe in love
I want to believe that there are people who live for their passion
I want to believe that success is just a suitcase away
I want to believe that love is greater than hate
I want to believe that someday people can be good to each other
I want to believe in people and their words
I want to believe that people are still happy

how can someone hurt you so much , and you still love them
it's like your trying to fill something that isn't there
love is not suppose to hurt
love is suppose to be easy

hopeless...

I just hope that on the days that I can barely say a sentence that you love me
I hope that you learn to deal with my constant  mood swings
I hope that you appreciate the little things I notice
I hope that you can keep up with my urge to get away , I hope that you never let me go
I hope that you love me , beyond everything
I hope that someday looking back and thinking about us all I can feel is happiness
I hope that I won't ever have to look back , because you'll always be there
I just hope that this is not all a waste
I hope that there's many tomorrows in our story
I just hope that on the days when I feel empty , you can fill me up
I'm just hoping , don't disappoint me please...

Her...

He just kept looking at me, it felt like he was looking into my soul, like he could see all my flaws. He never turned around , his gaze was breath taking . We didn't talk for a long time , and I didn't feel like talking , he understood that and I loved him for that . I couldn't put my thoughts into words , I just felt like telling him, how I felt . How I wouldn't change a thing about this moment or any moments we shared together. I wanted him to know that in his presence is where I rather be than any place on earth, that when I dream , all I really want to do is wake up and see him. That I would spend my entire life , writing about him if I had a chance. I want to tell him , how wonderful he really is for making me constantly happy, when I can't even make myself happy.  I want to tell him , to never give up on us , especially on me. I want to tell him , that if he ever have the urge to leave me, he shouldn't, he should stay cause I'll never leave. I want to tell him that he changed my life , in no way any man could ever do. He should know that I am ready to be saved
But I lacked the courage to tell him, I felt that if he knew he would see how truly vulnerable I really am and I would hate myself for that...

Him

And she just heard him say , you're way too pretty to be doing so bad. You have so much more than you have to give, you have to believe it. Things do get better, people get better, the sun will always be there . Keep your head up high and look how beautiful the sky really is... She didn't want to answer , she was caught up in her own world, she didn't feel like talking, but she had too , she was thinking that he got it all wrong; she heard herself say; the sun won't always be there, one day it will eventually fade , it won't be bright. It will end like everything else, he'll leave as everyone does

The perks of being a wallflower

I've just watched this movie , and there's a quote that really catched my attention ... We accept the love we think we deserve . That is seriously the truest and significant quote I heard in a movie for a long time. This quotes goes straight to my heart because it's a universal fact that we all experienced once in our lifetime or we still are experiencing it . In my case , this is exactly my love story . Whenever I feel sad or worthless for absolutely no reason in my life , it shows in my relationship or the people I encounter . But most of the time, I feel like I don't deserve to be love fully by someone , because I can't give them the same amount of love and I sometime settle for less than I'm worth . I let people take advantage of me and treat me like they want simply because I think that if I get better I will just fuck it up , like the rest of my life. It's sad but it's the ugly truth . I can't seem to accept the fact that someone might like me for who I am , I feel like everyone always wants something out of life , they don't seem to give love free anymore there's always that extra baggage hanging in the air. I'm always saying I won't settle for less anymore , but I always find myself in the same situation , with a guy that just can't seem to fully commit and I'm always sticking around not like a lover rather playing the role of a mistress. I think we all deserve to be happy in love starting by me , but I just can't seem to find the way . We all deserve better than what we are dealing with right now , we all know we can do better and be better but it never seems to happen for none of us.